Few natural disasters are comparable in destructive effect with divorce. In this battles, there are no winners, all are victims, no matter who is guilty or who is the initiator of the rupture of relations. Public opinion is used to sympathize with the divorced lady.
The man most often suffers silently, avoiding loud complaints. Or vice versa, a guy tries to "dance on the wreckage of his love" by rushing into casual relationships or by manifesting aggression.
But how it is necessary to reconstruct homes after a hurricane, it is even more important for a divorced man to understand that this is not the end of life and learn to rejoice and hope for the best. It may not be easy, but in certain time it will lead you to the road of creating happiness. Here are six recommendations to men from our experts, what is worth and what not to do after the divorce.
Do not try to restore your broken relationship at any cost.
Believe it seldom happens and not immediately after the divorce. And your frequent calls to your ex with pleas and threats do not exactly add to your self-esteem. Accept the inevitable and live on!
Do not fall into despair.
To grieve for the loss of love is quite natural. But you are still alive and the sun is not extinguished, then the pain will pass in due time. And in order to minimize this period, be distracted to work, creativity or sports. Accept the support of relatives or old friends. If you do not feel strong enough to cope with the problems that have piled on you, then do not hide from them with alcohol, ask for help from specialists.
Let your children not become an apple of discord or a "prize" in your conflict with an ex-spouse.
Divorce, anyway, traumatizes your kids. Try to let them know that their dad still loves them and will always help and support (not only financially). Plan your leisure time together. Agree with their mother about civilized and quiet partnerships without mutual insults.
Create your new social circle.
If you are again unmarried, this does not mean being alone. Perhaps it's worth pausing to find a new relationship before your full recovery. But why not put a new jet in life? The former company may be closed for you. But you can find old buddies on college in social networks or resume a forgotten hobby and find like-minded people. Instead of dubious and hasty relationships, you can simply become a member of a dating site and communicate with women in a friendly manner without far-reaching plans. This will give you the opportunity to feel that you can be interesting and attractive.
Unearth your forgotten skills.
Carefully plan your budget, because you do not need extra stress. Learn to cook food and monitor the cleanliness of housing and your clothes. This will preserve your health and self-esteem.
Make your list of tasks for the future.
Try to fulfill the planned. It must be doable things (not "fly to the Moon") but, for example, get out with your son on a mountain trip, lose weight or learn French at last. Include into your list "stop resenting fate and again dare to love" and one day it will become possible.
Life is diverse and unpredictable. In it everything is mixed: pain, hope and love. But you don't have to experience pain endlessly, even if you recently got divorced . Believe that your happiness is ahead. And, maybe tomorrow you'll meet her somewhere in the neighboring park or even on a dating site. Why not?